dorks + musical genius = glory.

and this is where that phrase comes from, because really, the covers never do the books justice. i have never seen so much dorky musical magic flow forth from the pouty lips of one city before.  just when i was thinking i might not be cool enough to live here, san fran hurls its best and worst at me all in the form of music. brain-bursting songs have been exploding at me from the most unexpected faces...LIVE! hey. thanks buddy.

it all began with justus bends.  i met justus while i was doing time at the ole flower stop shop.  turns out, if you are gonna use peet's coffee's bathroom everyday at exactly 10:30am, you are going to get to know those handsome faces above the aprons (pssst! and you get free coffee!) well, thanks to my timely bladder, i had the great fortune to become one of the many to have encountered, and enjoyed the company of, justus.  let me first tell you that this young man is one of the most joyful, genuine and enjoyable people i have ever encountered. seriously. brimming with enthusiasm and gusto for life, justus has an uncanny ability to suck you into his bubble and before you know it, your face aches from grinning so wide.
not what you'd expect from a gangster rapper eh?  but apparently this is the stuff it takes to have clever and catchy lyrics sprout from your face.  because justus bends is one talented rapper.  and by talented i mean mind-blowing and tummy-tickling and butt-shaking-til-your-knees-collapse.  go here to see his stuff and afterwards, you'll be on the bends-wagon too.  http://www.myspace.com/justusbends it's not anything like hearing (and seeing) him live, but listen to the words and how fast he says them. that should be enough.
with rhymes that cover subjects as profound as "we just want to make money and fuck" to lyrics that declare "i want a soda and a spaceship...you know what i mean?" justus has the ability to appeal to all audiences.  he can convince you he loves and respects all women, and in the next song declare loudly and openly how he wants to fuck them all too...but you don't hate him. you love him. you agree with him. and you don't want him to stop his white boy ranting. ever.

up next, the elbo room and the gyrations of the girls from ye olde holistic health program fill me up til i start shakin' it too.  the thursday night group, called afrolicious, has been the sponsor of the few times i get to share space with these lovely ladies. tonight was a special treat though. tonight i was witness to yet another geeky show of talent.  tonight i danced to yogoman burning band.  these guys don't look the part, but they sound just like it. starting to the left.
the trumpet player's trumpet, first of all, is about the size of a lunch box. it seems like the sound emitted would be akin to a bicycle horn, but it isn't. it croons and bellows and groans just like it's papa would.  the trumpet player himself is a funky lookin' white guy, wearing orange pants, and a shirt that is a different shade of orange. he also specializes in the cowbell.
the sax player is a spunky asian kid who was all over the place. how he has enough energy to not stay in one spot for the entire hour long set, i have no idea, but i liked it. a lot. also wearing orange.
the trombone player is a doughy young man (guess what color he's wearing) with a meek smile, but that is the only thing meek about his mouth, as the tunes emitted from his horn were juicy enough to slurp from a straw.
next up, the drummer. up front and center, this rivers-cuomo-esque lead singer can rasta, rap, sing, squeal and even howl at the moon like he's been doing it since he shot out of the womb. 
all in all, frickin' amazing. go here and jam out with your KABLAM! out. http://www.myspace.com/yogomanburningband

how awesome was this evening you ask? so awesome that i only had time for one beer. that's how awesome. and who would have thought that so much fun could be found on an evening that began with a pap smear?