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An Adult Review Dolores Park Playground 

 

Sixteen Candles in Dolores Park

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bicycle.

frosty days are the best.  not cold, just frosty.  my bicycle has enormous handles and i feel like i'm riding an elephant or a deer or some sort of ancient horned beast, maybe with fur, maybe made of steel.  i will probably ride this thing into the heavens when, you know, when they open or whatever.

there is this hill on the way home that is preceded by a downward slope and a perfectly coordinated traffic light and a large bike lane and it is my favorite.  i wait for this every time. i stall and i hold the brake and my beast waits and when the light changes, we release and charge forward and we charge the hill and we charge.

you will see me and you will see a horned beast, great and green and named and loved by so many people.  you will see us with no protection and no idea where we're headed but when we get there, our mouths, lips and teeth will be dry from wide open, idiot smiling into the wind.

update.

i shower more now.

just so that's settled.

i now need to write more and i need to write more songs. so i have new homework.

EITHER a new song or a new story a week.

hold me accountable.

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness...

only because it is a lot of fucking work.

There are days, so shoot me, that I don't shower.  Maybe I'm cold.  Maybe it's raining.  Maybe I'm remiss to wash off the warm scent of the morning's snuggles...and other half-conscious stirrings...
Whatever the reason, there are days that I don't shower.

Most days it doesn't matter - I keep my hair tied up, go to the gym after work and don't even see anyone all day.
Other days...I have a show with my band after work and it looks like I spent my whole day combing lard over every inch of my head.
On those days, I need more than a little help because I look

 (oh god i'm putting this on the interwebs why?) like this:

Prisoner of my oily scalp.
Inmate-esque photo taken by Anna Pulley

Thank God for beauty-product-knowledgeable coworkers.

Enter PSSSSSST! (that's six esses) Shout out (!) to Natasha, life saver of the year award.

PSSSSSST! = $6.95

Not having to shower AND not looking like a prison inmate = Priceless

Exponentially more attractive due
to this beauty product.

Thanks PSSSSSST! 

(jamie was not paid for this product endorsement...but she would like to be)

for anna.

limerick inspired by writer extra-ordinary anna pulley's post A Bisexual's Lament

I had a dear friend in the city
who I just couldn’t help but to pity
for you see all the women
she put her interest in
only temporarily wanted the titty.

She would spend so much time with a chick
thinking she’d finally made a good pick
she’d chase them and win
get a good night’s fun in
only to learn they had eyes just for dick.

In these days of being sexually free
it can be difficult to see
when getting the eye
from a girl or a guy
do they want him, or her, he or me?

oh san francisco.

in other news i have a sudden urge to move to detroit.  who wants to come? (if you said "not me! no way no how!" watch this video - 

http://www.palladiumboots.com/exploration/detroit

love, jamie

cover letter.

       please.

i like you. i love your blog! i even followed you on twitter.

save me from the job i have now. my back hurts cuz my desk is too tall for me. i only get to interact with two people all day. no one leaves for lunch even though there isn't anything to do.

i wanna be surrounded by smart, funny, creative and energetic people that come up with ideas and make stuff up instead of emailing youtube videos across five feet of office space.

im a giver. if you take me away from here, i will be so so loyal. i will be like that girlfriend who is so afraid you are going to leave her that she makes your lunch everyday and laughs at your jokes and your friends' jokes and wears sexy football jerseys on sundays when they come over to make them jealous.

i'm a good person: i look both ways before i cross the street, i don't talk on the phone at the order counter and i hold doors open for people.

i'll ride my bike to work so you don't have to give me a commuter check.  i won't ever get sick.  if i'm late i'll feel really really bad about it.  i'll work really really hard.

additional cool-ness factors: i have a black belt (seriously), i'm in a band and i can (sort of) play the trumpet.

not only will i be an excellent employee, definite cool points will be added to the value of your company and i'm pretty sure that increases stock value.

hopefully yours (like, seriously, you can own me if you hire me),
jamie

on quitting smoking and stopping crying.

i quit smoking over a month ago.

i'm not going to be obnoxious and count it out to the minute and rub in how much money i've saved!!!!! cuz i'm still broke and i'm not good at counting.  but i DID quit and...it was really hard.  and it is still hard.  it is almost positively harder for my friends than it is for me and i apologize to them for that.  if i could go back in time and show my 18 year-old-self my 25 year-old-self whining and bitching and spitting fire at those closest to her i would, and then i probably wouldn't have started in the goddam first place.  but i can't.

so thank you for still loving me, or at least pretending to, even though i'm not as lovable as i was when there was nicotine coursing through my veins.  i promise i'm trying to get back to normal, it's just these darn brain chemicals.  science was never my strong subject and chemistry is hard.  hence, the crying.  and crying and crying and yes, it is all your fault.

it's possible that i am crying about a legitimate offense, or a real pain in my back, or a real frustration in my life.  however.  i am pretty damn sure that none of those things is worth seven, count 'em seven, days with break downs and crying.

i have always struggled with getting sad, and then sadder and then really really just bummed the fuck out until i can't get out of bed to save my life (translation: gpa/paycheck/job) and before i know it i have four huge zits on my face, no groceries and ten more pounds.   i have been like this since i hit puberty (thanks boobs.)
i know that when i get like this i am really hard to be around, and really hard to deal with - try living IN HERE.  it's not fun for me either.  but i have been doing so much better for the last year, thanks largely to the birth of my band and those two besties o' mine that came along with it.  quitting smoking has thrown a wrench into that streak of happy and the last two months have been pretty....uh...crappy.

but i've quit smoking. and my friends are still here. and i didn't gain fifty pounds in the process.  and it's gonna be ok.  i frickin' swear.  and i feel a lot better today.